sadness isn't me

I don't want sadness in me I want to be happy.But its hard.Sometimes I feel lonely like no one cares about me. I think about it to much.It makes me scared and more shy.I hardly talk because I don't want no one to hate me. But I need  to. I wish I would be like my friend, outgoing not scared doesn't STOP talking. That's who I want to be. I don't want to be crammed in a shell all my life I want to open let my sunshine shine out I don't want to hide. I'm scared when people talk about me.Even if I hide the fact with my fake talk. I wanna be real not a goody goody that's what  Im becoming help I'm trapped.(shhhhh I need to go they hear me).